Giza; Gee-Whiz-a!

Friday morning, everyone’s off to their prayers, so the drive from hotel A to hotel B was easy (except for the street sweeper guy we came within 1/2 inch of plowing into). Now we’re in much swankier digs, on the 22nd floor of the Sheraton Cairo, high above the River Nile, overlooking Zamalek Island and a city that goes as far as the eye can see. After a quick breakfast it was off to Giza with our driver Mohamad (who lives there, and can see the pyramids from his window). It’s so weird and unexpected; there you are, driving along a main boulevard for 20 minutes or so, chatty chatty chatty, looking at all the little shops and the music video shoot and scads of people and then….there they are. You see the big one first, and it’s the size of a mountain against the 2-story apartment buildings. A few short u-turns later and in we go to the tiny, choked streets of the bazaar that is the gateway to the pyramids. As we approach, Mohamad asks our preferred mode of transport to see the pyramids and sphinx; we choose camel, and he takes us to his friend. Who first introduces us to HIS friend, The Doctor, who extols the virtues of various flower oils to us. OK, we enjoy the smell-fest, and overspend like the tourists we are, but what the hell. Then, with our guide Abdullah’s help, it’s up and onto Fly and Sinbad for a first-ever experience. Funny thing about getting on and off a camel; you have to WICKED compensate for the way they stand up and sit down; lots of leaning waaaay back and trying to time the lean forward so you don’t wind up ass over teakettle. Gotta say, it ain’t easy! Then, there you are way up in the air, doing the hip gyration thing while fielding non-stop updates from your inner thighs—which are rubbing up against the formless, carpet/blanket “saddle” (a tip for the ladies from Bobbi: riding a camel=the world’s best Thighmaster®). We stroll out from the bazaar—myself and Bobbi Of Arabia---, go thru a gate (grease-the-cop incident #1), and away we go across the desert. Abdullah knows the best places to stop for photos, and he’s a pretty good shooter! We see all the 9 pyramids and Abdullah tries to explain who was buried where, but we lose track pretty quickly. We trek around the area for a few hours, going very close to these amazing, man-made mountains, then Abdullah greases another palm so we can climb up one of the smaller pyramids where one of the queens was buried, for a photo op (uh…against the law; the ungreased-palm law, I guess). At this point we are very hot and almost numb with excitement---we’re climbing a pyramid?!? From there it was back towards the gate area and the Sphinx. All those photos you're used to seeing of the Sphinx are very misleading, because he’s pretty small (compared to the ‘rids). Don’t get me wrong; seeing a 7000 year old setting like this is stunning beyond belief, but the scale was way different that expected. Now we’re back at the hotel, chilling before our Nile dinner cruise tonight, which should prove fun; Egyptian foods and belly dancing, and maybe even some shisha!

Evening update: dinner cruise up and down the Nile was hilarious, like being in a bad monty python “Dinner And A Show” sketch. The entertainment started with a dude in a Member’s Only jacket playing songs like “A Wonderful World” and “Help Me Make It Thru The Night” on a tricked-out casiotone. Oh, and he sang, too. He was then joined by the Cheesy Singer Sisters, who continued with renditions of Celine Dion and other fabulous artists. Then the real band came out, many men with different size drums and a few flutes---these guys were amazing---, and we were treated to a whirling dervish performance that whirled on too long. Finally, a Nefertiti-like belly dancer was carried out to the stage by two king-tut types….I swear, this is like a campier version of what I expect you get at the Luxor in Vegas….and then she went to town, kind of. At this point the meal is done so we head out and enjoy the last few minutes of the cruise, watching our police boat escort watch us. Then it was back to the hotel for tea with mint and more shisha. Shish-ahhhhhh…..